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There’s a gaping hole in some of the places Jeremy Swanner used to be.

Though his wife and family report that Swanner has been seen sporadically, apparition-like, throughout the month of September, these appearances have been mainly confined to the weekends.  Reportedly, he spends his visits in the same patterns he followed prior to his disappearance: eating home-cooked food, playing Barbies with his kids, and doing his laundry, which smells mysteriously of hotels and airplanes.

Eyewitnesses have claimed further sightings, usually during working hours, up in Fort Collins, Colorado.

But Jeremy Swanner is not a ghost.  In fact, there’s a perfectly logical explanation for his recent absenteeism.

RLE Technologies is not only claiming full responsibility for the disappearance of Jeremy Swanner, they’re crowing with pride over his successful abduction.  In fact, RLE executives have had their eye on Swanner for some time.  Says Chris Pullen, President of RLE Technologies, “We’ve known Jeremy for several years and have interacted with him at tradeshows and industry events.  RLE has made a commitment to grow our product offering, our customer base, and expand into new markets.  Jeremy has proven abilities and successes to help make that happen!”

Further research on this point proves that, all appearances to the contrary, Swanner wasn’t taken in furtherance of some nefarious plot.  RLE Technologies is far from a shadow organization, forcibly recruiting those with the covert abilities to advance their eventual world domination.  Instead, Swanner was pilfered for skills easily demonstrable in the clear light of day.

A veteran of Server Technology and NER Data Corp., Swanner’s extensive sales experience is a boon for RLE.  He’s very familiar with the data center industry, and boasts proven results in the sales industry.  He’s a veritable sales powerhouse, and Pullen is impressed with his experience, “Jeremy has worked in our industry for many years and has achieved success in multiple sales leadership positions.  We consider him one of the top sales leaders in the industry.  He knows the channels and how they make decisions and he has an extensive network as well.”

Swanner himself confirms that rumors of his kidnap and/or death are greatly exaggerated.  In fact, he is energized by the new opportunities RLE presents, and is inspired by the chance to grow and develop the RLE sales team.  Says Swanner, “I am excited to join RLE and be a part of their team.  RLE has strong brand recognition and a reputation for delivering high quality products at a competitive price point.  I am also excited about RLE’s product development and the forward-thinking approach to product enhancements.”

Swanner has big plans for RLE, “I am looking forward to diversifying our channel strategy, creating closer relationships with our customer base, and making RLE products more visible within our industry both domestically and internationally.  We are in a strong growth mode and I am looking to continue this growth into 2013.“

Swanner will be making his RLE debut this week at Data Center World in Nashville, Tennessee.  Whether he’s a friend and you want to make sure he’s in one piece or you just want a chance to gape at the possible Visitor From The Other Side, stop by booth 745 and get to know Jeremy Swanner and RLE a little better or connect with us on Twitter here: @RLETechnologies.

We’ll be taking bets on whether anyone can spot any symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome.  (We think we’ve coached him well enough for a public appearance.)

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